Towards a Dark Horizon Read online

  Then she smiled. ‘I’m not scowling at you, Danny – just that damned bell.’

  He glanced upwards then said, ‘I’d like a quick word with Ann. Do you mind, Connie?’

  ‘No – go ahead.’ She picked up a pile of papers and began to scribble names on the top with a stub of a pencil.

  He hesitated again. ‘Can Ann come outside for a minute?’

  By now I was totally mystified and Connie was totally agog.

  ‘I mean if that’s all right? I don’t want to keep her away from her work.’

  Connie nodded and I went outside and stood on the freezing cold pavement.

  ‘What on earth’s the matter, Danny? What’s so secret that you can’t speak in front of Connie?’ I had a sudden dreadful thought. ‘It’s not your transfer is it?’

  ‘No. It’s just that I wondered if you would come to Lochee with me tonight?’

  I was as mystified as ever. ‘Lochee? Why do you want me to go there?’

  ‘I can’t tell you here because I have to get to work but will you come with me after you leave Lily with Granny?’

  His face was white above his woollen scarf and he looked worried.

  By this time so was I. ‘Has something happened, Danny? Is it Ma?’

  He shook his head. ‘It’s a long story but I can’t say much at the moment but will you come?’

  ‘Of course I’ll come, Danny. I’ll see you later.’

  He gave me a thankful look and hurried away down the Hill.

  When I got back into the shop I was grateful for the warmth. The heat was provided by an ancient paraffin heater which was smelly and you had to be careful not to knock it over during what we laughingly called our rush hours. Still, I didn’t bother about its smell this time because I was grateful for its heat. It had been freezing standing on that pavement.

  Connie gazed at me when I entered but she didn’t ask any questions. That’s what I liked about her. She didn’t pry and, apart from the trivial chitchat of the street, she didn’t really gossip. If she got a confidence from someone, then it was sacrosanct. In spite of that, she was a woman who knew almost everything about the people who inhabited her own little world but, as I didn’t know why Danny wanted me to visit Lochee with him, I couldn’t mention anything.

  Instead I said, ‘Danny was just reminding me that I promised to go to Lochee with him tonight.’ It was a little white lie but, if she guessed it, she said nothing.

  She smiled at me. ‘I like that laddie Danny – something couthy about him.’

  Young Davie the paper delivery boy arrived and, to my dismay, I saw he was still in his short trousers. His legs were red with the freezing cold and he had large holes in the heels of his woollen socks. I was wild at myself for forgetting to ask Hattie about some of Danny’s cast-off clothes that would fit Davie perfectly. I made a mental note to ask her for them the next time I saw her.

  As Davie filled the well-worn canvas bag with his newspapers, Joe appeared. He was rubbing his hands briskly. ‘Heavens, it’s cold enough to freeze a brass monkey,’ he said. He took a couple of pennies from his pocket. ‘I’ll have a single fag, Ann, and a paper.’

  I got one cigarette from the box under the counter and handed it to him. He opened his tin and placed it beside the many stubs which littered its base.

  Connie saw this and laughed. ‘Still saving up your nippers, Joe, I see.’

  He smiled back. Showing a row of yellow teeth. ‘Aye, in these hard times, I can aye make another fag out of my stubs. It saves a wee bit money and fag papers are cheap.’

  ‘I don’t think it’s really good to do that, Joe. You’re just smoking pure nicotine when you put the stubs together.’ Although she sold tobacco and cigarettes, Connie was a non-smoker.

  Joe made a sound between a laugh and a cough. ‘Och, Connie, I’ve got to die of something. It might be with old age or maybe with nicotine poisoning but when you’re dead what does it matter what caused it?’

  We stood in silence and he continued, ‘Look at the news. There’s another war coming and it’ll not be men of my age that’ll be going but all the younger laddies.’

  My heart went cold. Would that be Danny and Greg?

  ‘Now there’s this Spanish Civil War. I’m telling you, Connie, if I was twenty years younger, I would go and fight there. At least it will be sunny and warm in Spain and not cold and miserable like this place.’

  As he left Connie remarked, ‘Well, if you’re dead or injured, does it matter if it’s in the sunshine or the rain?’

  ‘Do you think there will be another war, Connie?’ I asked, fear still clutching my heart.

  She shrugged her shoulders. ‘Well, it certainly looks like it’ll get worse before it gets better with this Hitler chappie but surely it’ll not come to a full-scale war. After the last war, you would think the world had had enough of killing off all its young men.’

  As the day wore on, I tried not to think about the trip to Lochee that night. Although I tried not to show it, I was worried about the urgency of it all. I had been to see the Ryan family a few times since Dad Ryan’s funeral and, although they were all still so desperately hard up, I couldn’t think what this urgent summons was all about. As with any worry, the day seemed to crawl by slowly and I was glad when Lily and I reached the Overgate to find Danny waiting for me.

  For a brief moment, I thought Lily would kick up a fuss and want to come with us but she was tired and seemed pleased to sit by the fire with her comics and books.

  In spite of my thick coat and woolly gloves, the wind seemed to penetrate the fabric and I was freezing cold as we waited at the tram stop. I had asked Danny what the urgency was all about but he said it would wait till we reached Kit’s house. We huddled together to keep warm and he asked me if I had seen Maddie.

  I shook my head. ‘But I hope to see her soon, Danny.’

  He gave me a rueful look. ‘I was really stupid.’

  I nodded but said nothing.

  ‘I just wish I could see her because my feelings haven’t changed for her but it’s my own fault so there’s nothing to be done now.’

  I was annoyed. ‘Don’t be daft, Danny. I’ve told you over and over again to go and see her and tell her how silly you’ve been then tell her the truth.’

  His voice seemed to come from far away as he gazed at the approaching tramcar. ‘Aye, maybe one day I will.’

  ‘Let me tell her that you want to see her and you can arrange a meeting,’ I said, my voice full of hope.

  He shook his head. ‘But she’s found somebody else. Have you forgotten that?’

  I was about to argue with him but the tram was full of people and we couldn’t get a seat together. I had no option but to hold my tongue, at least for the time being. When we reached our stop a few of the passengers got off along with us but they hurried away into the shadows, leaving the street almost deserted. A couple of brave souls scurried past but it wasn’t a night to be outside.

  I expected to see the entire Ryan family but, to my surprise, only Kit, George and Ma Ryan sat around the fire. When we entered, they threw Danny a grateful look. If they were surprised to see me, they didn’t say so. Kit’s fire was its usual meagre self but the kitchen was quite warm, at least compared to outside. The teapot sat on the gas cooker and we were soon seated with a hot cup of tea to warm our hands.

  Ma sat very quiet but I noticed Kit’s face was white and strained looking. On the other hand, George seemed angry to me but, as he was normally such an easy-going man, I thought I must be wrong in this assessment.

  Kit spoke. ‘Thanks for coming Ann and Danny. We don’t know what to do for the best.’ She looked at me. ‘You don’t know yet, Ann, but young Kathleen is expecting a bairn.’

  I was shocked. Young Kathleen, who had looked so beautiful on the night of her grandad’s wake, what was her age?

  Kit answered my unspoken question. ‘She’s just sixteen although she’ll be seventeen next year.’

  George interrupted her. �
�It’s not really her age that concerns us – although we think she’s too young to be settling down – it’s the father we’re worried about. He’s the big problem.’

  ‘Are you still sure it’s Sammy Malloy,’ Danny asked. ‘Has Kathleen told you it’s him?’

  George looked unhappy. ‘She wouldn’t tell us to begin with but, aye, it’s that toerag Malloy.’

  I recalled the leering look he had given her that night of the wake and I didn’t like him either but, if he was the father of the child, then it was too late for dislike.

  ‘Her dad and I have been telling her to have the bairn and stay with us without getting married,’ said Kit, pushing her hair behind her ears. ‘We’ll help bring it up and she can maybe get a job later.’

  Although it wasn’t really any of my business, I said, ‘Does she not want to do that, Kit?’

  George burst out, ‘It’s not what she wants that seems to matter. It’s what the ruddy Malloy family want and they want their grandchild to be born in wedlock.’ His face was white with anger and I could well imagine his distress. ‘I ask you! Wedlock’s the word that’s being bandied around and that’s a laugh. I don’t think Mick Malloy ever married his wife. I’m sure she’s a common-law wife and now he’s going around holier than thou. Yapping on and on about illegitimacy like he’s some priest or something.’ He stopped. He had run out of breath after this outburst.

  I was quite surprised at Ma’s reticence. She hadn’t spoken a word except for her initial greeting when we arrived.

  Again, as if reading my mind, Kit turned to her mother. ‘What do you think will happen, Ma?’

  Ma gave it some thought then said, ‘She’s not the first lassie to be in this condition and she’ll not be the last. I think she should stay unmarried and bring the bairn up with all our help but I don’t think this will happen. If it’s meant to be, Kit, then it’ll happen.’

  I thought she was being too complacent but it wasn’t my business to butt in or give my opinions. How would I feel if it was Lily in this position? Not very pleased that was for sure.

  Kit seemed to take this advice quietly but I could hold my tongue no longer. After all I was here at Danny’s invitation so he must have wanted my ideas on the situation. ‘What does Kathleen want, Kit?’ I asked. ‘Does she want to marry Sammy or not?’

  Kit looked at me and I saw the dark circles under her eyes. I felt she had enough to cope with during all these years of bringing up her family on the poverty line. Apart from Kathleen there was Patty, Kit’s youngest child, and, looking round the tiny flat, I doubted if there was any room in it for another baby.

  Kit slumped in her chair and she looked defeated. ‘Quite honestly, Ann, she doesn’t know what she wants. I’m not saying she’s frightened of Sammy because she’s not but she feels she has to go along with his wishes. Then, at other times, she says she wants to stay with us.’

  Danny said, ‘If I have a word with her, Kit, do you think she’ll listen to me? I can ask her outright what she wants to do.’

  To be honest I was really disappointed with Ma. She was supposed to have the sixth sense and she had certainly warned me of the danger at Whitegate Lodge when I was working there. But now she seemed to want to stay out of the argument.

  Kit and George both looked gratefully at him. ‘That would be a big help, Danny. That’s why we asked you over tonight because Kathleen has aye been fond of you and looked up to you.’

  ‘Where is she now? Maybe I can have a word with her and get her true feelings into the open.’

  He stood up and was just putting his coat on when the door suddenly flew open. Kathleen stood shivering on the doorstep while Sammy Malloy swaggered in. He glared at us and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. This was because I was nearest to him and he thrust his aggressive face close to mine. He quickly guessed what the topic of our conversation had been. ‘What’s my bairn got to do with you?’ He almost spat the words in my face.

  Both George and Danny sprang towards him but Kit was quicker. She stood in front of Sammy.

  ‘Don’t hit him, George – he’s not worth it.’

  Sammy puffed out his chest at these words and glared at the two men as they went back to their seats. Kit took Kathleen’s hand and led her towards the fire. She handed her a cup of tea and made her sit down.

  She glared at Sammy. ‘Your bairn indeed. You leave my lassie standing in the freezing lobby while you come bouncing in here, you snottery wee toerag.’

  Sammy took one step into the room but faced with Kit’s wrath he thought better of it and swaggered out. But he wasn’t going to let Kit have the last word and he shouted so loud that the entire close must have heard him. ‘The wedding will be on the second of January. You can come if you like but you’ll not be missed if you don’t.’

  The minute he disappeared, Kit, George and Danny all began to speak. In the jumble of words Kathleen suddenly broke into a flood of tears. She was dressed in the same skirt and jumper she wore on the night of the wake but I could see the slight swelling under the skirt.

  I was so angry that I could have hit Sammy Malloy myself. Kathleen was growing up to be a beautiful young woman and goodness knows what she could do with her life. Now it all lay in tatters because of this obnoxious man.

  Danny was talking to her quietly and she kept nodding in response to his words.

  I sat beside Ma. ‘You think I can work magic, Ann, don’t you?’

  I was taken aback. Could she read my mind? I nodded. ‘Well, I think Kathleen might listen to you,’ I said truthfully.

  The old woman shook her head. ‘That’s where you’re wrong. I know I get these feelings about folk but I’ve always tried never to influence my family so, for some reason, I get very few hunches about them. But I’ll tell you this – although I don’t want Kit to hear …’ She glanced over at the trio who were trying to drum some sense into Kathleen. ‘Aye, I’ll tell you this. Young Kathleen will get married to that rotter but it’ll not ruin her life like you seem to think, Ann.’

  I was amazed because those were the very words that were in my mind – that her life was ruined.

  ‘The thing is this,’ Ma continued. ‘We’re all heading towards a dark horizon – it’s around everyone at the moment – but we just have to get on with our lives.’

  I was upset. ‘What do you mean by a dark horizon, Ma?’

  ‘It’ll be different for everybody. Some will find it darker than others and some will hardly notice it but it’s there, mark my words.’ She gave me a keen look. ‘I hope you’re not looking for a wedding ring next year, lass, because it’ll not be forthcoming.’

  My face fell. Did that mean Greg had found someone else?

  ‘When will it come, Ma? If ever?’

  ‘I can’t say any more, lass, than what I’ve already said because I don’t always see the entire picture if you get my meaning.’

  Kit came over. Her face flushed with emotion. ‘I think Danny has talked Kathleen out of marrying that besom, Ma. She’s made up her mind to have the bairn next year and stay with us.’ The relief on her face was evident.

  So much for Ma’s prediction, I thought. I looked at her with raised eyebrows but she merely nodded to Kit.

  ‘Well, that’s grand, Kit. What a relief for you and George.’

  I went over to speak to Kathleen and almost collided with her dad and Danny. We all started to speak at once but, like all conversations, it was a bit noisy. Then, I heard Ma speaking to Kit. ‘Danny will do well. He’ll be in another country … but he’ll be fine …’ I strained my ears to hear more but George was now talking loudly about Sammy Malloy. Danny in another country? I couldn’t bear the thought of that but maybe I had misheard Ma’s whispered words.

  Danny and I left soon afterwards. Kit asked me to keep the news to myself and I promised I would. It would all come out soon enough. One thing in life was sure – when a baby was on the way, it couldn’t remain a secret for long.

  I asked Danny when we were on our
way home. ‘What about Granny? Are you going to tell her?’

  He nodded. ‘Aye, Kit did say I could tell her because she doesn’t want her finding out through Bella or any other nosy parker but they want to keep it quiet for the time being.’

  ‘Do you think Kathleen will take your advice, Danny?’ I didn’t mention Ma’s words.

  ‘Oh, I hope so. Imagine being married to that rotter.’

  I mentioned Maddie again but he didn’t want to discuss it – at least not tonight. ‘Just give me a wee while longer, Ann, then I’ll go and see her … maybe.’

  I gave up. There was just so much one person could do and I felt I could do no more. In fact I was turning into a proper old nag.

  It was the same with Dad. For the past month now, there were nights when he didn’t come home from Margot’s house. It was only a matter of time before Rosie found out and she wouldn’t be pleased. And, to be truthful, neither would I. Harry was hardly cold in his grave and now Dad was staying the night in his lovely house. It didn’t seem right.

  Danny had left to go home when I suddenly remembered the clothes for Davie. I explained this to Granny.

  ‘Och, the poor laddie. Don’t worry, I’ll ask Hattie tomorrow if she’s got any of Danny’s clothes put aside. I would give you some of Grandad’s but they wouldn’t suit a young laddie.’

  I smiled, trying to visualise Davie in some of Grandad’s cast-offs. It didn’t bear thinking about.

  Granny saw the smile. ‘What are you smiling about, Ann? Tell me the joke.’

  I couldn’t hurt her, not in a million years, so I made an excuse. ‘I’m just thinking of Sammy Malloy’s face when Kit started on at him. He was dead scared I can tell you, Granny.’

  She chuckled loudly. ‘Kit can fair sort out the men. You should have seen her in her younger days. She looked just like Danny and Kathleen but what a firebrand. She would stand up to folk much bigger than herself and she was magnificent.’